May 2008 Archives

where has our feeble attempts to be good or make ourselves good got us?

"good" was never part of the conversation...

holiness has always been the purpose for the pursuit. good will never lead to obedience... good will lead us to self righteousness and disappointment... mirages and pseudo realities.

self discipline will only take us so far... fall in love and realize freedom and life.

may i... we stop striving to be good and strive for holiness... we can be "good" without grace (self discipline and self righteousness) but we can never be holy apart from the grace and pure love.

F

i have been processing all day...

it is often difficult for me to shut my brain off... when most normal people sleep at night, its like my mind shifts into another gear and i can seem to shut it off. it can be about anything too... but mostly its about dreaming... the kind of dreaming one does when they are still awake (remember that i am not normal... but most of you already knew that).

i dream of what could be and what should be...

i dream of being "a part" of something bigger than me...

i am just a sojourner on the path to this thing called life... i am broken just like you are... pursuing just like you are...

hoping that my name can be associated with LOVE.
hoping that my life can be a refuge for the UNloved.
hoping that my heart can be a container of UNtamed love.
hoping that my mouth can be a reflection of this container of love.

hoping that i can be a part of love.

"he who is forgiven much... loves much"
F

Q: what is "church" to you?

i became aware of a conversation that happened this past weekend that was aimed at me, well that was the intent at least, via an online conversation. as i read carefully through the conversation here is what stood out to me in bright, florescent colors... the conversation was really more about what two or three peoples PREFERENCES and how their preferences were not being met. there was one voice that was venomous, poisonous, and malicious in its roots who took several people down this road and found themselves in a conversation stirred with divisiveness and deceit. ultimately getting first hand an example of right vs wrong conversations that lead to winners and losers.

for those that sided with you, congratulations, you won. those that didn't, they lost and sit in their ignorance.

Q: so how do you feel?
really...

proud to be a part... proud to be one of those who call themselves followers of christ? proud to be a part of the church... a community that is bigger than you?

and you wonder why no one wants to be a part of this...

where WAS the love in that conversation?
where is the love in your lives?

and we wonder?

wonder no more... we just lived it!

so... after several emails and processing out loud with several trusted people and myself i am left with one over arching thought?

really... so what is church to/for you anyways?

my heart hurts that their are a few people who would equate activities to community. who equate preferences with depth and growth.

who equate THE GOSPEL with this!

SHAME ON YOU!
SHAME ON US!

F

just finished a quick little book... jazz notes by donald miller. great little read and refreshing.

some snip its for you to ponder...

"too much time is spent charting god on a grid. too little time is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe. so, by reducing christian spirituality to formula, we deprive our hearts of wonder."

"you cannot understand some things, and you must learn to live with this. not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this."

"wonder is the feeling we get when we do just that - let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want god to follow. and i don't believe that there is any better worship than wonder."

Q: can you truly wonder without LOVE?
Q: is not LOVE what drives curiosity and wonder?

...because at the end of the day, is that not what our hearts crave and long for... LOVE... a sense to belong to something, to someone?

this craving to know LOVE creates the curiosity.

more thoughts to come...

F

thought this SNL version of There Can Only Be One was pretty great... amazingly entertaining. there can only be one is a commercial campaign for this years NBA playoffs. this is SNL's spoof version.

all too often in my life i find these words living way too close together. the obvious questions that begs to be asked is... what does love have to do with convenience?

i pray that my life is purged of this epidemic called convenience. to love when it is convenient is NO LOVE AT ALL!

to love in hopes that it would be reciprocated... is NO LOVE AT ALL! that is called agenda. that is called selfishness. maybe the two giant, but subtle global killers of our day.

Q: is convenience, agenda and selfishness the global giant killers of our day?

imagine a world, where these DO NOT exist. the sad reality, is i cannot name more than a handful of names in history that come to mind when i think for selflessness, loving the un-lovable, touching the un-touchable... and one of those names is jesus... and he is god so that doesn't count.

Q: what would our community look like if we LOVED with no strings attached, no agendas... just love?

Q: what would my life look like?

i pray that i don't sit in idle and wait.
may you not do the same.

F

ok... i know that i didn't exactly blog LIVE at the calibrate conference, but i did take notes! i will post the other two sessions soon.

calibrate... in my opinion was a BIG WIN for me and this community. it is great to get something off the ground and continue to dream of what could be.

F

Some great insight from kevin ragsdale... key thoughts and questions...

In order to lead an effective ministry you MUST be able to lead people. Your growth is limited by the numbers of volunteers you can get on board…

Q: How are you leading?

Plan = simple and doable

5 KEY QUESTIONS: (do this exercise with your group... great little discussion)
what is more important:

- giftedness or leadership
- passion or plan
- staff or volunteer
- production or relationship
- creativity or systems

Q: What is celebrated in your “organization”?

- the CALL: Q: how did you get here?
(your call) your station in life… is where “your deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meet.”

i love this thought... and the thought process that it forces me to take and go through. what takes me to my deepest gladness and where does, if it does, meet the world's deep hunger?

Q: do you love what you do?
Q: does it bring you "gladness"... great joy?

great insight into understanding the why do we do what we do questions that seem to haunt us at times...

good stuff...

F

i will be posting some thoughts live from grace church @ the calibrate conference all evening and all day tomorrow.

hope you check it out.

F

last year some time i learned a valuable lesson that helped loosen the grip of pressure that seemed to hold tight and haunt me... whether we would like to admit it or not, numbers seem to ALWAYS hit somewhere in the equation that ultimately points to success? personally... especially more lately, numbers are increasingly having a weaker gravitational pull for me when i measure success.

YES... numbers DO measure something... just NOT sure what it is.

all that to say, the lesson i learned was that there are different seasons of ministry as there are different seasons of life. the month of may is a TOUGH ministry season... well at least for us it is. i have to come to grips that for us may, may always be a tough ministry season. there is way too much going on.

so... cheer up... things will pick up.

F

i am back from my brief absence hanging with our new baby boy...

in the process i heard an incredible conversation that asked some unbelievably unconventional questions... i have admitted lately that i have become increasingly irritated with conventional answers... even more so with conventional questions...

good teachers ask good questions...

questions move us move us from our boredom... from our apathy... they force us to think and process life on a deeper level...

ever get bored with life?

good questions MOVE us... good questions move me... good questions force us to listen.

F

about a year ago now rick tucker (2 rivers) and i had lunch together to converse on the idea of hosting and leadership training event for his adults and ours at the REALM. long story short the idea turned into a regional leadership conference for adults who invest their lives into teenagers... into the future of the church.

the calibrate conference was born as an idea... another experiment pushing and pursuing collaboration. we will launch st. louis | ONE out of calibrate and calibrate under the umbrella of st. louis | ONE.

next week... hundreds of adult youth workers will gather for a small boutique regional leadership conference.

i hope and pray that this is NOT just another conference... but a gathering point of inspiration... dreams... collaboration...

for more info... speaker bios, etc. visit
http://www.calibrateconference.com

F

i just ran across this on another guys blog... you need to watch this video along with the other 2 million people who already have... http://www.storyofstuff.com/

In their words… The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It’ll teach you something, it’ll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

in my words… it is a creative way to present a new concept around the unfortunate amounts of stuff we consume. the design is great, the presenter is convincing, and it was well researched. do I agree 100% with everything that was presented? Absolutely NOT... but I also learned some great new information and it challenged me in decisions that I make.

here is a teaser for the short film...

i thought that i would share this piece with you that excited me. i often say that i live in the world of possibilities. i love thinking that i do at least.

i heard kevin carroll speak 2 years ago at a conference and immediately was attracted to his message. at the time, he was the chief catalyst for NIKE... the mastermind behind the "livestrong" bracelets for lance armstrong. this was on his blog...

“...Research suggests that we start our young lives as creativity engines but that our talent is gradually repressed. Schools place overwhelming emphasis on teaching children to solve problems correctly, not creatively. This skewed system dominates our first 20 years of life: tests, grades, college admission, degrees and job placements demand and reward targeted logical thinking, factual competence, and language and math skills--all purviews of the left brain. The propensity for convergent thinking becomes increasingly internalized, at the cost of creative potential. To a degree, the brain is a creature of habit; using well-established neural pathways is more economical than elaborating new or unusual ones. Additionally, failure to train creative faculties allows those neural connections to wither. Over time it becomes harder for us to overcome thought barriers. Creativity trainers like to tell clients: “If you always think the way you always thought, you’ll always get what you always got--the same old ideas...”

do schools kill creativity?

i wonder what schools will be like in 10 years... 20 years... 30 years?

F

here is the CRAZY thing...

two years ago june 17th was fathers day... that is when we had ryder (our first son)
tomorrow (well... today) is mother's day... looks like scout is coming to say hey on mothers day.

two sons... 1 on father's day... the other on mother's day...

CRAZY...

F

well your probably wondering what happened to hospital visit #1?

if you are... that was thursday night. michele thought that she was in labor, which she was, well kinda... they found that she had an infection and we were sent home with a prescription several hours later.

this is saturday night... well sunday morning (mom's day) its 1:55am and i am sitting in the hospital for visit #2. very tired, anxious, hoping to have a baby soon.

will keep everyone posted as we know...

we just were told that we are STAYING... looks like we will be having a baby soon.

F

aristotle once described our challenge as the problem of a fish in water. "knowing nothing but life in the water the fish never realizes that it is wet."

it has become way to easy for us, for me, to go through life and miss all th people in the margins... to miss the opportunities the serve... to love. its almost like the fish never realizing that it is wet. how sad is it go through life and never realize the hurt, the pain, the need of other people around us because we are so focused on ourselves. the sad reality is that we "know" life is NOT about us, but yet we never change anything about it or us. sure, we have our own hurts and pains and needs, and we think that if we just focus on ourselves for now, maybe, just maybe i can someday help "them" whoever they may be. that is a mirage... an excuse to avoid the margins, the inconveniences.

there it is... the people in the margins and their needs are just inconveniences to us... right?

WRONG!

at some point in your life you have lived in the margins, are living in the margins, or will live in the margins at some point.

i hope it is a place that i learn to frequent as often as i can... i hope that it becomes a place that i love to be.

destination... the margins...

F

i am reflecting on last wednesday night still... there was a such a refreshing ethos and a feeling of non-programmed... non-plastic... community. that is church! that is the church that i want to be a part of. that is the church that i have dreamed about for my entire life that i am just now beginning to be apart of right now.

listen to how that sounds... "a part of..."

it is humbling to play a role in this movement and this community. to live life beside you and along with you. to continue exploring and playing...

welcome to life...
wanna play?

i love this...
F

"all of us know how cold it is outside.
It's almost unbearable out there.
Especially when we're there
Alone,
Isolated,
Lonely.

You were never meant to be...
ALONE!"

what would life look like for you if you stepped out from the margins? if you stepped out from the isolation... from behind the comfort of your computer?

what are you scarred of?
something has driven you to the margins? hurt, pain, lack of acceptance...

lets dive into the messiness and explore life outside the margins...

F

this entire month we have furthered the process of creating a culture of learning.... creating an ethos of curiosity. i think there is no greater task for someone who leads students than to teach them how to think and ask questions. asking the right questions produces the journey and the exploration.

one of the distinctions we looked at was the difference between trying to figure out what to do vs. recognizing what is already happening.

our ability to be aware is key in our ability to live life with depth, fullness and richness. the difference is a life of possibilities...

the tension here is to take hold of the "uncertainty" and the mystery and the ambiguity... which happens to be near impossible for amercians, well humans period. we have a fetish with certainty and control.

ron martoia says, "therein lies a problem that plagues much of the modern western church. we are so concerned with having everything neat and tidy, according to our standards, that we distort, add to, insert, adjust and guess what jesus and the writers of the NT must have "really meant."

Q: are we ready for the honest ambiguity, lack of control, and relational mystery that happens in a human heart wrestling with spiritual murmurings?

WOW!

are you ready to embrace what is already happening?

F